I get the strangest Facebook mail. Dear Mikey, sorry I never responded but I am taking the time now to ask, has this ever worked? Also I think it’s super hott you were born in 1975 and are in an ‘open relationship,’ that’s super cool.

-Sai

It’s funny when I meet people who care about nothing more than production or beats. I know you’re out there but you still baffle me. Growing up I only listened to words and in turn those words shaped me. When my dad died I used to write Don Mclean lyrics to “American Pie” repeatedly in my journal, school day planner etc. It was borderline OCD the way those words resonated with me and made me feel slightly human again.  Ironically enough I later found out he’d written the song about the death of his own father and the effect it had on him as well as how his life transcended at that time, quitting school to pursue his dream of making music. 

I used to sit in my room and make actual mix tapes, recording things off the radio, where I would harp on timing, perfection, editing etc. The genre’s I loved were so vast because the line in the sand hadn’t been drawn yet. There was no pop to me, no rap, or folk or rock or any of that, it was just music.  I used to sing along with everyone from Eminem to Joni Mitchell to Alanis Morissette (don’t lie we all loved “Jagged Little Pill). People ask me why I chose rapping, it chose me. It didn’t seem like the sensible thing to do but it came naturally, that coupled with the fact my mom told me I couldn’t sing.

Those artists raised me, taught me how to handle life, how to carry myself etc. Getting older the lines got drawn, “you can’t listen to Underground Hip hop & pop music” because there wasn’t enough room to do both. I didn’t understand the rules and I still don’t. Even last week someone commented on my facebook saying “I’d download your mixtape if you actually still made hip hop, let me know when you come back to it.” It’s so confusing to me. Everyone wants an identity, most people don’t want there own until they grow up. So saying “I listen to underground Hip Hop,” means a lot more than meets the eye, it means I am part of something bigger than life, something elitist and safe, something deep and conscious. I get that, I did that, I still do. To find someone who knows something about your favorite artist (the more obscure the better) makes you feel like you have a connection to them, like you both know the secrets of the Universe.

I now listen to the production of a song as much as the words hanging atop it. It’s all art, all important, all a means to the end, something that has the potential to change my life.  Making music myself I find the more limitations are set on the art of it, the more people want to make it “make sense,” the more I find myself believing there are rules. Until I remember that I make the rules. A lot of you ask about Sonny aka Skrillex and how our songs came to be etc. He was the person that reminded me that there’s no such thing as a genre, no room for forced art, there are no rules, no pleasing labels, no bad ideas, just art made.

I still love lyrics. I spend hours reading through peoples words, they make me whole when I’m broken, make me keep on far after I’ve wanted to quit, inspire me to write better, do better etc. I used to run from myself, fast, hard, hoping I could lose me and I did. I lost myself to the confines of what people deem as “right.”  Even a year ago I didn’t feel safe being real about who I am. I was so hard when I was younger I still am now at times. The same girl that kidnapped Mac 10’s niece from “Thug Life” spends afternoons in bed knitting with small dogs.  The same girl that got shot at in drive by’s too many times to count cries when watching Patch Adams (tell anyone and I’ll kill you). I owned a gun and still keep a bat by my bed and the front door, but I love my mom and volunteer with kids.  I read heady books & Harry Potter, get into fist fights over my friends well fare & well up at deep emails I receive from fans, have power tools & make dinner. They all can fit in the same place and be real, this is what lyrics have given me.

teachmehowtogreencard asked: Every time I listen to "Clean Windows Dirty Floors," I feel changed. I'm not even sure how, I just do. You're the realest rapper that I know. I hope you have continued success, and I hope you make shit-tons of money, because you definitely deserve to, unlike most rappers in the game. Can't wait for the mixtape tomorrow.

Thank you so much, it’s funny how you change as an artist over the years and although that EP is still me now, I’ve grown a lot. With that said, I hope you enjoy the mixtape, it’s very different, but still very much the same. I hope we both make “shit-tons” of money, first thing I’m going to do is buy a crew & get my dawgs properly groomed. 

reedzandthings asked: I'm extremely pumped for Cult to drop but I was surprised to see that it's free?? I was prepared to lay down at lest $10 for it. You've worked really hard and been through so much, you're such a huge inspiration for me personally, your story really touched my life in a big way. Is there any way to donate a few bucks toward anything or something?

You’re adorable. I want you guys to have it, its my heart. Like you’ll find in the mixtape, I never did this for the money. However; if at some point in the near future I need a couch to crash on, I’ll be taking you up on your offer. :)

whatthefuckskrillex asked: was a bad person to you, the bad views of you from stupids persons don't let me see the great person that you're. so, for that, for the past, forgive me.

Yo, I love you for openly admitting that. I also appreciate you telling me, its all good. I know I’m confusing to most people. I look like something, act like someone else, and rap like a small black boy. It was confusing to me at first too, until I realized, its just me. No gimmick, no front, no hipster, no money. Growing up I wasn’t ever poor enough, rich enough, white enough, brown enough, black enough, loud enough, quiet enough, pretty enough, ugly enough, skinny enough, fat enough, hood enough, proper enough, etc. Now I just own me, not enough, but way too much.

sarabirdcanfly asked: I just started listening to some of your music (sadly not much). When I heard it, I thought "Wow, she's got talent". Then I started following your twitter and tonight I found this blog. After reading things that you've posted, I see you as such an amazing and inspiring person. I'm definitely a fan for life now. Much luck on your album! :)

Thank you soooo much <3 that means a lot to me.

Look at what I got tonight in Seattle! I’d skateboard if I could but I’d break my face on both fronts so instead this will hang on the wall.

I’m pretty sure this must feel like a perpetual state of sweater purgatory, the classic:

“I can’t pull my head through! Help me!”

“Thats cause you put it on wrong, thats your sleeve.”

cirkut asked: Hey girl! I just downloaded Skrill's new ep and I just wanted to tell you that you're really really good! Even better than that plastic Nicki Minaj. :D Keep doing what you do and you'll get really far!

Thank youuuuu!! No plastic here but I plan on getting triple D’s and making my friends push me about in a wheel barrel. Let’s hope I ball out of control.

This is Jamie describing a man she met today. FYI this is what I do when I’m not at the studio.